Stressing out about meal planning, exercising until I couldn’t walk anymore, counting calories, throwing up after a large meal, and worrying about fitting into my clothes.
But I’m Americas idea of overweight right now, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve been a lot happier this past month of freely eating whatever I want, over the past three years of worrying about being everyone’s idea of beautiful.
And I love myself more than ever.
…. Oh and steak, too.
I never really get compliments, but I got three in a row today in my message box and it was pretty cool. Either a) gaining 20lbs is working for me, or b) someone is planning an evil plan.
Anyways I smell like the whole Bath and Body works store and it’s pretty cool smelling like a girl for once and not like normal human.
So I just ran into a classmate from high school (7 years ago) who happened to be really popular. She was stocking hand sanitizer at bath and body works, and it made me all kinda of satisfied to tell her that I graduated college and now working in an animal hospital.
Revenge is fucking sweet. Being a loser paid off.
I’m not really excited to go home after a year and a half because my family and I weren’t close to begin with, we barely spent time together, and I never really had a long term group of friends. Everyone in my life kind of just up and leaves, and it’s normal for me to not get attached to anything or anyone. I’m really really good at getting over things.
Maybe I’ll feel different when I see my parents and my brother and whoever else, but I can’t help but to not care about going home.
I’m still getting used to this “girl world”. I never really had girl friends until I came here, so I will fall down and screw up. I will lose some friends. But I don’t have anything to apologize for, because I’m not a bad person, and I don’t have time to justify myself to people who won’t give me a second chance. I wouldn’t be a girl if I didn’t have some drama with my own kind, so I guess this is the first step to achieving loyalty and trust.
With that being said, if you’re reading this, good luck with your life. You are great, intelligent, people, and I was lucky to have known you and for you to teach me a lesson. or ten. Everything happens for a reason, and I can only hope that I don’t mess up the next time.
Oh… You know…. My friend got mobbed and arrested for selling coke, I went to stripper nights on Wednesdays, did some acid, went on a date with a guy in a halfway house for killing someone, wrestle alpacas, and drank moonshine.
Oh, and I studied and kept my 3.95 GPA. It was whatevs.