Sometimes it takes a while for me to understand something, but that doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person, or I’m stupid. I’m just a poorly built building, and I need a good foundation to hold me up when I’m crumbling down.
Ever since I was 16, I’ve always had a boyfriend or was involved emotionally with a guy. I’ve come to realize that I’ve had, at the most, a week or two to myself before a new man popped into my life.
This got me thinking a lot. I’m 26 and I have yet to find peace within myself because part of my brain is overcome with the need to fill the empty void in my heart with a mans love, instead of self love.
Don’t get me wrong, I love myself. I love that I’m so hard working, open minded, outgoing, and a lot of other great stuff, but I have never had the time to make amends with my thoughts and stay away from thinking about a relationship. Every single day, I’m hoping someone will pop into my life and change my view on men.
With this being said, I’m taking a year off from dating. I’m focusing on myself and bettering my future. Every single guy I meet is going to be friend zoned immediately. I just really need some time to myself.
I have the rest of my life to find the love of my life, but I don’t want to wake up when I’m 70 years old and regret not treating myself better.